Hello, it has been too long since my last post.  So much has happened.  School is out for the summer. None of my kids are able to go during summer either.  This is both a blessing and not.  It means they are smart and learned what they needed to, it also means that they will be at the daycare all day everyday.  Xavier is so hard to control and to entertain that this is a difficult time.  He is doing so great though.  a little less time spent spinning there I think.  Also he is talking to me and to some of the school kids and other teachers a bit now.  He can use full sentences and ask and answer questions now.  He loves to read and write, and is good at it.  Martina continues to be mostly a mystery to me.  She just seems weird a lot of the time.  She sat on the bus licking her hand for like five minutes yesterday, I just don't get things like that.  (though at least it was her hand and not a strangers or her brothers she was licking)

Well been awhile since my last post. Almost impossible to believe that my little girl is going to be 6 tomorrow.  I still am so lost with her.  She is officially autistic, but I think there is more to know.  I just can't find a doctor that takes her insurance that can tell me what.  She is a sweet girl, cries when you do and says "I'm sorry" a lot.  She loves animals, but is so difficult to let play with real ones as she can be very rough with them.  The kids have dentist appointments the end of the month, that should be fun.

The most important news here though is a challenge i have for myself.  I set it for one week at a time.  To go for one week without ever yelling at the kids.  This can be very very hard.  So far I have made it a day or so, but not a week.  Today I figured out several things that usually make me yell, so hopeful this will help make me not do so.  I love my kids and hate that I scare them.  I will look and sound pretty silly soon probably.  But I will not yell at them.  I will not have to feel like climbing under a rock after screaming at a child.  I will be happier and quieter and so will my children ( at least I really hope they will be quieter).  I've got this I can do this.